If you get any funny looks in the fruit and veg aisle, this might be the reason why
Be careful what produce you are putting into your trolley while you’re browsing the fruit and veg aisle, as you might be unwittingly sending an erotic signal to other shoppers.
Don’t worry, the strawberries are safe – but you might want to lay off the salads for a while if you’re not single and ready to mingle with a man with a huge penis.
We’ve all seen the upside-down pineapple trend sweeping stores in Spain, but now, it seems you can’t even pick up a cucumber without it having some sort of sexual undertone.
Who knew healthy eating would be so hard to navigate, eh?
Well, if you’re looking for someone to blame for this then David Minns is your man… oh, and the fella who claims to have the biggest penis in the world.
The tech whizz and dating guru, who is behind a series of ‘niche dating sites’, has teamed up with Jonah Falcon in the hopes of helping Brits pick up a romantic partner as well as their household supplies while completing the weekly shop.
And bizarrely, they reckon that a cucumber could play Cupid.
Jonah Falcon says he’s already had success with the cucumber ploy (Jam Press/DMCUBED)
I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to work out why the pair have chosen the long and slender fruit as their mascot, but for those who haven’t clocked on – it’s meant to be a signal that they have something of a similar size hidden in their pants.
The idea is that blokes will proudly parade around their local supermarket with a cucumber taking pride of place in their trolley, which will covertly let other customers know they have a massive penis.
Minns reckons that this will provide those who are specifically into that kind of size with an ‘easier way to connect’ with potential partners – even though it could also easily cause some very awkward encounters.
It looks like those of us who simply enjoy chowing down on a bit of cucumber will have to bury them at the bottom of our trollies for the time being, unless of course you are in the market for an extremely well-endowed man.
Falcon – who is the poster boy for the campaign as he supposedly has a penis that measures a whopping 13.5 inches when erect – is all for the idea, and revealed that he’s already got lucky by using the wacky method.
Sounds like he owes Minns a pint. Or a cucumber, perhaps.
David Minns came up with the concept to make it easier for people ‘who prefer a larger man’ (Jam Press/DMCUBED)
Chester-based businessman Minns does have a lot of experience in this realm, considering he’s created 16 dating sites over the years which explicitly accommodate certain groups of people.
There’s ‘Dinky One’ for blokes who aren’t that blessed in terms of the size of their manhood, ’20’ for those who are interested in extreme age gaps and ‘Joystick’ for gamers – so maybe he is onto something with the cucumber ploy.
Minns, 51, said of the inspiration behind his latest project: “The Cucumber Date campaign goes beyond simply giving men with a larger penis a platform – it’s about offering potential partners who prefer a larger man an easier way to connect.
“Just as some people have a preference for different body types or traits, there are those who prefer a particular penis size, whether large or small. Often, this preference remains unknown until much later in a relationship.
“Now, thanks to Cucumber Date, people can make that connection long before they even reach the checkout.”
For those wondering how it works, take a look at this (Jam Press/DMCUBED)
Falcon gave the cucumber stunt a try in his own local supermarket and told Big One Dating that it worked a treat.
“[I’ve slept with] just one person [because of Cucumber Date] and now I’m dating them,” he beamed.
“I think it’s funny, and it’s certainly healthy.”
Speaking to those who are skeptical about the method’s success rate, Falcon added: “My supermarket has a bunch of old people, so [I haven’t seen anybody else try this] yet.
“From what I understand, it’s been chaotic in Spain – but you’re not really sending any specific message. Cucumbers are unambiguous. It’s not just about size; it’s about standing out and having a little fun with it.
“Who knew that a simple cucumber could be such an icebreaker? Everyone goes to the supermarket, so why not find love in the fresh produce aisle? If you can’t [find one], use an eggplant instead.”
Noted. Might be best just to avoid fruit and veg for the next few weeks, I guess.
Featured Image Credit: Jam Press/DMCUBED
